Through the Creative Door with Rae Leigh
Sometimes creativity is about making something beautiful.
Sometimes it's about finding a way to survive.
For country singer-songwriter, performer and podcast host Rae Leigh, music has been both.
From a young age, songwriting and playing music gave her a way to process feelings she couldn't put into words.
What began as a private refuge eventually became a creative career, a way to connect with others and an important part of reclaiming her own story.
In this deeply personal episode of Through the Creative Door, I reconnected with Rae, a childhood friend, to explore the experiences that shaped her creative journey. Rae spoke with remarkable honesty about the childhood sexual abuse she experienced, the shame she carried for many years and the moment she began to understand that what had happened to her was not her fault.
She also shared how music became her lifeline, why having hope and a sense of security matters to creativity, and how stepping into fear has opened doors she once wouldn't have imagined walking through.
This was a conversation about courage, healing and the power of creative expression.
It was also a reminder that our creative journeys don't always begin with a plan.
Sometimes they begin with a need to find our voice.
Creating Space Begins with Feeling Safe
When I asked Rae what a creative space means to her, Rae's answer went beyond the physical environment.
For her, having the freedom to create is closely connected to having some degree of financial security and stability. Basic needs such as food and shelter matter because they give us the breathing room to think, imagine and explore.
When we're living in a state of desperation, simply getting through the day can take up all our energy. It becomes difficult to feel that we have the capacity to take creative risks or work towards something that might not offer an immediate reward.
Rae also believes hope is essential.
Without hope that we can overcome a challenge, solve a problem or move towards something better, we can begin to feel trapped and defeated. That state of mind can have a significant impact on our mental health and our ability to create.
It's an important perspective because creative spaces are often discussed in terms of studios, equipment, instruments and inspiring surroundings.
But Rae reminds us that the internal conditions matter just as much.
A beautiful studio can't necessarily help if you're overwhelmed, anxious or struggling to meet your basic needs.
Creativity needs room to breathe.
And sometimes, creating that room begins with recognising what we need to feel safe, supported and hopeful.
Music Was My Lifeline
One of the most moving parts of Rae's story is her description of the relationship between music and her childhood.
Rae experienced sexual abuse by a family member from around the age of three until she was approximately 12. She was groomed into believing that what happened was her fault. She carried shame, felt unworthy of love and became convinced that if people knew what had happened, they would reject her.
As a child, she developed ways of avoiding the abuse and hiding what was happening. She also created a version of herself that appeared to be coping: the good student, the school captain, the worship ministry leader and the person who seemed confident in social situations.
She didn't want people to ask whether she was okay. She didn't want anyone to see how she really felt.
But there was one place where she could express something of what was happening inside her.
Music.
Rae remembers seeing her dad playing the piano when she was about six years old. Something about it brought her a sense of peace, and she began taking piano lessons. She also learned drums and became deeply interested in music theory.
She kept much of this musical world private. Music was connected to her innermost self, the part of her she was afraid other people would see and reject.
She describes songwriting as a way of processing emotions that she couldn't otherwise express. Music gave her body a way to release and communicate feelings, even when her mind struggled to confront them.
She would write in journals, play piano and create songs that were, in many ways, a call for help.
music was her prayer. It was how she expressed the suffering she couldn't share with anyone else.
This is why Rae describes music as her lifeline.
She was so protective of it that she couldn't imagine showing her songs to anyone. She had seen people share their creative work and experience rejection, and she feared that if someone rejected her music, they would take away the one thing she had that felt truly hers.
Her story shows how creativity can become a place of refuge when other parts of life feel unsafe. It doesn't necessarily solve what we're experiencing, but it can give us a way to express, process and hold emotions that might otherwise remain hidden.
For Rae, music was not simply a hobby or an ambition.
It was a connection to herself.
Understanding That It Wasn't Your Fault
Rae's understanding of her childhood experiences began to change when she became a mother at 23.
Until then, she had carried the belief that the abuse was somehow her fault. She had been groomed to think that she had invited the attention and was responsible for what had happened.
But holding her own baby brought a new perspective.
She looked at this tiny person who depended entirely on the adults around them and began to understand how little a child knows about the world. A child relies on the people caring for them to establish what is safe, what is right and what is wrong.
The realisation was profound.
Rae began to understand that she had been a child who had been taken advantage of. She had been sexually abused, and she was not responsible for the actions of the adult who abused her.
She describes this moment as the birth of her “mother wolf” — a fierce determination to protect her child and to confront what had happened to her.
With the support of her husband, Rae reported the abuse to police. Her decision led to a lengthy legal process, including a three-year court case that went to trial in Victoria.
Giving her testimony was an incredibly difficult experience, but the trial resulted in a guilty verdict on nine charges of indecent sexual assault towards a minor.
For Rae, the outcome brought a sense of closure and allowed a new stage of healing to begin.
She describes feeling something she hadn't experienced before: happiness.
This part of her story is difficult, but it also shows the importance of recognising that shame belongs with the person who causes harm, not the person who experiences it.
Rae's journey was not simple or quick. It involved confronting painful memories, finding support and navigating a demanding legal process. But being able to understand what had happened through the lens of her childhood — rather than the blame she had carried — changed the way she saw herself.
Her willingness to share this experience is a powerful act of honesty.
It also reminds us that healing can begin when we are finally able to name what happened and understand that it was never our fault.
Stepping Into Fear and Finding Your Creative Voice
Although music had been part of Rae's life since childhood, she didn't begin singing publicly beyond church and a school performance until 2019.
For someone who is now a country singer-songwriter and performer, that might seem surprising. But her story is a reminder that creative confidence doesn't always arrive early, and it doesn't necessarily follow a predictable timeline.
Rae is proud not only of the music she has created, but also of the moments when she has stepped into fear and said yes to something she would previously have avoided.
One example is a song called All of Me.
Rae explained that she was testing some new recording equipment when she pressed record and began playing. She entered a creative flow, performed the song and decided to share the recording on Facebook.
She didn't make a big production of it. She simply uploaded what she had recorded.
Someone who heard it was so moved that they took the recording, arranged a backing track, organised for Rae to record the vocals in a makeshift studio space, and had the song professionally mastered overseas.
When Rae eventually listened to the finished version in her car, she was astonished by what she heard.
She hadn't realised her voice could sound like that. Hearing the professionally produced recording helped her recognise a possibility in herself that she hadn't fully understood before.
It was a special experience because it allowed her to hear her own work differently.
Sometimes we become so familiar with our creative abilities — or so uncertain about them — that we don't recognise what we're capable of. Another person can hear something in our work that we haven't yet learned to hear ourselves.
Rae's story also highlights the importance of taking the first step, even when we're unsure.
She didn't set out to create a professionally mastered recording that day. She was simply experimenting with her equipment and following an idea.
By allowing herself to make something and share it, she opened the door to an unexpected opportunity.
Being Prepared So You Can Say Yes
When I asked Rae what advice she'd give to another creative, her answer was wonderfully practical:
“If you're always in the right place and you're always prepared, eventually it'll be the right time.”
Rae is often asked how she manages to find opportunities and make things happen. Her response is that she's constantly preparing behind the scenes.
She practises her instruments, writes new songs and keeps adding to her catalogue.
She's working on her craft every day so that when an opportunity arrives, she's ready to take it.
For Rae, preparation means having enough confidence in your abilities that you could put everything aside and step into an opportunity tomorrow.
It's an important distinction.
We can spend a lot of time waiting for the perfect moment, the right connection or the opportunity that will finally allow us to begin.
But when that moment arrives, we also need to be ready to make the most of it.
Preparation doesn't guarantee that every opportunity will come our way. But it gives us the skills and confidence to respond when one does.
Rae's advice is particularly relevant for people working in creative industries, where opportunities can sometimes appear unexpectedly. A performance, collaboration, songwriting session or project might come up with very little notice.
Keeping your skills developing and your creative work moving means you're less likely to feel that you have to start from scratch when something exciting happens.
It's also a reminder that much of a creative career is built through work that other people don't see.
The hours of practice, the songs that haven't been released, the ideas that are still developing — they all contribute to being ready when the right moment arrives.
Keep Learning from Other People's Experiences
Rae is a big believer in reading and learning from others.
She particularly enjoys self-development books and often listens to audiobooks while driving her children around. As a busy mum, audiobooks give her a way to absorb new ideas during time that might otherwise be spent simply getting from one place to another.
She loves hearing about other people's experiences and discovering different ways of thinking.
She also makes an important point about reading: you don't have to force yourself to finish every book.
Sometimes you'll know partway through whether a book is worth continuing. If it's not engaging you or offering what you need, it's okay to put it aside.
That attitude reflects a broader approach to learning.
We don't need to absorb every idea or follow every resource from beginning to end.
We can stay curious, explore what interests us and take away the things that are useful.
For creatives, learning doesn't always have to happen in a classroom or through a formal course. It can come from books, conversations, music, other artists and the experiences of people who have travelled different paths.
Rae's own creative life has been shaped by many influences, and she remains interested in understanding how other people's minds work and what drives their creativity.
When asked which creative she'd love to have on the podcast, her answer was Leonard Cohen.
She's fascinated by his poetry, lyrics and songwriting, and by his ability to create work that brings people together and makes them feel something deeply.
She would love to understand how his mind works and where that creative power comes from.
It's a fitting choice for someone who sees music as a way to communicate what can sometimes be difficult to express in ordinary conversation.
Final Thoughts
Creativity Can Help Us Find Our Way Back to Ourselves.
My conversation with Rae Leigh was a powerful reminder that creativity can be much more than a career or a form of self-expression. It can be a lifeline, a source of connection and a way of processing experiences that are difficult to put into words.
For Rae, music provided a place to turn when she felt isolated and overwhelmed. It gave her a way to express emotions she couldn't share, and it remained an important part of her life even when she was afraid to let anyone else hear it.
Her story also reminds us that healing takes courage. Understanding that the abuse she experienced was not her fault, speaking up and navigating the legal process were significant steps in reclaiming her story.
Today, Rae continues to create, perform, write and connect with other songwriters through her Songwriter Trysts podcast and retreats.
Her advice to creatives is worth holding on to:
keep practising.
keep creating.
stay prepared.
You never know when an opportunity will arrive, but you can keep building the confidence and skills to meet it.
And perhaps most importantly, don't underestimate the value of the thing that helps you feel most like yourself.
For Rae, that has always been music.
A x
Listen to the Full Conversation
Listen to the full conversation with Rae Leigh on Through the Creative Door S1. E18, to hear more about her journey, the role music played in her life, and the courage it took to find her voice and pursue her creative dreams.
